List of EPF Messages

2011

January 2011

January 13, 2011

G - Red alert! The EPF is under attack! All agents - report to the system scanner in the Command Room immediately. This is not a drill!

January 16, 2011

Director - Our enemy has been identified. Ultimate Protobot, destroyed in 2008, has returned. Be on alert. It is considered to be extremely dangerous.

January 17, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. Surrender your computer mainframe. I need its parts to repair my core circuits. Comply, or face destruction.

January 23, 2011

G - Agents - make sure to check out the new Tech class gear I finished last week. Tech agents are the EPF's computer experts. I'll have more info soon.

January 26, 2011

Director - No new incidents of Protobot's activity have been reported. Remain on alert - we believe it was not working alone.

January 27, 2011

Dot - Update: the newspaper source that revealed us was not the Protobot. I'm sure of it. Whoever it was already knew about us. Still investigating.

January 28, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - RED ALERT! We're under attack! We need to get to the System Defender, pronto!

January 31, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello, Error Prone Fumblers! Did you miss me? I see you've already met my latest reinvention: Ultimate Protobot! Stay tuned, there's more to come.

February 2011

February 2, 2011

G - Agents, I forgot to mention: I updated the System Defender last week! Now in an emergency, you can earn medals for defending the EPF.

February 3, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello again, Endlessly Pathetic Fools! Figured out what I'm up to yet? Don't worry, I'm out of popcorn... But I may be 'bugging' you again soon

February 5, 2011

Rookie - Hey everyone! I have a theory - I think Herbert and Protobot may have helpers! Something with a tire... Maybe some kind of evil wheel barrow?

February 9, 2011

Director - Stay sharp agents. We suspect Herbert and Protobot haven't given up their assault on System Defender. Be ready for anything.

February 10, 2011

Dot - Everyone get to HQ immediately! We're under attack! I'm detecting multiple enemy signals in System Defender - let's move!

February 13, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Hello Easily Perturbed Fowl! Seems your system is well defended. So this week I'm trying something else. Just a minor test of your skills. MWA HA HA!

February 16, 2011

G - Transmitting to all frequencies. Herbert - why are you attacking us? We thought you had changed your ways. You helped us save the island once!

Herbert P Bear - Tick tock agents. I've left you a special surprise somewhere. I don't mean to 'box' you in, but if I were you, I'd hurry up and find it...

February 18, 2011

Herbert P Bear - I helped you, but that doesn't mean we're friends. Warm up the island, end your noisy parties and maybe I'll consider adding you to my buddy list.

February 21, 2011

Director - Herbert - you will need to try harder if you want to scratch the EPF. Our agents are incredibly skilled, and prepared for anything.

February 23, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. The polar bear and I have only begun our master plan. Once I have my core circuits, we will crush you. Resistance is pointless.

February 24, 2011

Rookie - AHH! Help! System Defender! Alert! Attacking! Bugs! Red Alert! All hand on deck! Scramble! Move in! Hurry! Gadzooks!

February 27, 2011

Klutzy - Click clicky click click, D= Click clickety click click click, Q_Q Click click ka-click! ^_^

February 28, 2011

Rookie - Umm... Right back at ya, Klutzy. I think.

March 2011

March 1, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Yo everyone - I've been investigating some unsual computer activity. I've given my report to G - look for new orders soon.

March 4, 2011

G - Good work this week agents. We can now track some of Herbert and Protobot's secret messages. Stay on alert.

March 6, 2011

G - Herbert said he needed the Wheelbot's design. He might be building more, I've prepared a new anti-robot defense cannon just in case.

March 8, 2011

Herbert - Hello, my Exceptionally Putrid Foes! This week I've got a special 'little' treat for you. Actually, I've got a few hundred of them...

March 10, 2011

Herbert - Dash it all! You agents are becoming a nuisance. Shouldn't you be busy waddling around and making friends or something?

March 11, 2011

G - Be careful this week not to tip off Herbert about the hidden message we found. Rookie - please be extra careful. Don't worry, this channel is secure.

March 12, 2011

Rookie - You can count on me! I haven't given away any classified information for weeks!

March 14, 2011

Dot - Heads up - I was disguised as a soccer ball at the Stadium, and I saw a crab rushing around. I suggest we investigate.

March 16, 2011

Director - Agents, make sure you complete your Field-Ops quickly this week. We may have discovered some unsetting information about Herbert's accomplices.

March 18, 2011

G - We've discovered an important clue in Herbert's plans. He may have more crab accomplices working for him than just Klutzy. More info soon.

March 20, 2011

Protobot - Attention EPF. As of now, I am jamming all communication frequencies, Without it, your destruction is assured.

March 21, 2011

G - Protobot’s jammin---$#(SG(GG(#SZ(!&#(*RH$AA#S#GTGG&@HPB!$KTC&:*B&B@----ERROR – SIGNAL LOST.

March 22, 2011

Director - Agents, Protob---- PTTF!#&NSHBT$&*#SBP@$&$#&DJKD@$GB/SB/PK/F$&*-----ERROR – SIGNAL LOST.

March 26, 2011

Protobot - Impossible. You had only 0.1 chance of stopping my signal. The polar bear's calculating were incorrect. Retreating for now.

March 27, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Stop calling me polar bear, you Ultimate Pea-brain 10,000!

March 28, 2011

G - All communication systems have returned to normal. Great work everyone!

March 31, 2011

Rookie - Update - hey everyone! G and the Director have given me orders to work on learning to translate crab. Hope to see you at the party!

April 2011

April 5, 2011

G - I've received reports of a suspicious crab in the Puffle Launch game in the Pet Shop. We may need to investigate.

April 6, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Took a look into this crab guy in Puffle Launch. Spotted him, but he got away. All I know for sure is that it's NOT Klutzy.

April 9, 2011

Dot - Hey everyone. G and I have been working on a major surprise that's coming soon. Here's a hint - start saving your medals.

April 11, 2011

Rookie - I've translated part of a crab message! It said, "Keep cutting fishing lines. Keep tapping on glass. Keep taking Puffle O's." Weird, huh?

April 12, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - That’s bad news. That means EVERY crab on the island is now a suspect in our investigation.

April 13, 2011

G - A new party will be announced in this week's newspaper. This is the info Herbert is waiting for. Stand by for orders.

April 15, 2011

Director - Attention agents. Complete Field-Ops as soon as possible this week. A signal has been found, and we need more agents to verify its message.

April 17, 2011

G - All agents - we have confirmed that Protobot and Herbert are going to attack the Earth Day Party. They must not succeed! Orders soon.

April 18, 2011

Rookie - *Open message - all channels* Herbert! Are you really going to help destroy the environment??? Why would you do something like that?

April 19, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - *Closed message - channel secure* Rookie, you can't reveal stuff like that! Now Herbert knows we know his plan!

April 20, 2011

Herbert P Bear - So you know Protobot’s plan eh? The plan I’d have to be CRAZY to support? You Environment Protecting Fools better keep an eye on the trees.

April 21, 2011

G - *Closed message - channel secure* Hmm... I think Herbert was warning us. Put all Earth Day Party trees under surveilance. Be ready.

April 25, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Curse you fowl fools! How did you EVER figure Protobot's 'brillant' plan? You must think you're 'smarter' than he is.

April 26, 2011

Protobot - Error. Probability of Elite Agents calculating attack: 0 percent. Wheelbot destroyed. Retreating for now.

April 27, 2011

Dot - Great work everyone! I'm seriously proud of you. FYI - tomorrow I'm introducing a new class: the Stealth Class! More info soon.

April 30, 2011

G - Herbert and Protobot have gone quiet again. This is a good opportunity to prepare. Next week, I’ll start by explaining more about classes.

May 2011

May 1, 2011

G - The agent classes each represent a specialized role in the EPF. Each class brings different strengths and skills to their squad.

G - Tactical agents are experts of snowball combat. They are heavily armored, and solve problems head-on with as much action as possible.

May 2, 2011

G - Tech agents are gadget-geniuses and computer experts. They solve problems with intellect, and are most powerful in front of a computer.

G - Stealth agents are masters of disguise. They solve problems by waiting and watching for the right time to act. They are very secretive.

May 3, 2011

G - Comm Agents are experts in intel and recon. They solve problems with information and diplomacy. They are excellent leaders.

May 5, 2011

Rookie - Whoa! Have any other agents done this week's Field-Op? If not, make sure to write down the message. I'm trying to figure out what it says...

May 6, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Hmm… I don’t trust this message from Herbert. We’ve tried working with him before, and he has not proven trustworthy.

May 7, 2011

Dot - That’s true JPG, but I think Herbert has realized how dangerous Protobot is. If he’s willing to help us, I say we accept.

May 8, 2011

Director - Protobot must be taken offline at all costs. We must act before it has a chance to finish rebuilding itself. That time is now.

May 9, 2011

G - *Closed message – channel secure from Protobot* Alright Herbert. We decoded your message. What is your proposal for taking care of Protobot?

May 10, 2011

Herbert P Bear - About time you made a GOOD decision. I'm sending you Protobot's location now. You DO remember how to use those fancy defense cannons, right?

May 12, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Finished a fly-by of the site north of the Cove. There may still be Test Bots active down there. No telling if Protobot’s offline.

May 13, 2011

Protbot - BZZZK, Calculations complete: The only way the EPF could have known our location was if the polar bear told them. Correct?

May 14, 2011

Herbert P Bear - That’s right, you mechanical menace! I should never have rebuilt you! I want to DEFEAT the Elite Penguin Fools, not destroy them!

May 15, 2011

Protobot - Reclassifying – polar bear is now our enemy. System damage unrepairable. Retreating until new engineer can be located. BZZZZK

Herbert P Bear - Mwa ha ha! All too easy! Now that Proto-bumbler is out of the way, I can begin my NEW plan. Prepare “ye fools” for I “cometh” soon.

May 16, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Yo, I KNEW we couldn't trust you Herbert! I dare you to show your face at the Medieval Party - we're ready for you anytime, anyplace!

May 17, 2011

Herbert P Bear - Temper temper, Jet Pack George.

May 20, 2011

Rookie - Everything looks clean to me so far. Except the puffle pens - they're a bit smelly. But no suspicious-smelly. Just regular smelly.

May 21, 2011

Dot - Disguised myself as a princess and staked out the Attic. No sign of Herbert. Gotta say, I much prefer my uniform to a princess gown. :P

May 22, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Found a suspicious device in the Cave, underground. Spoke to a few agents, and they found one too. No other sign of Herbert though.

May 24, 2011

G - Hm... we're still not sure what Herbert is planning, and he hasn't sent any other messages. Agents, be on full alert this week.

May 28, 2011

G - Still nothing. As far as our surveillance cameras go, we haven't seen anything else suspicious. Stay sharp, everyone.

May 29, 2011

Rookie - Maybe Herbert decided not to do anything bad. The party ends tomorrow, and still no sign of him. Maybe he's a good guy now!

May 31, 2011

G - RED ALERT! All agents report to the Everyday Phoning Facility immediately! We are under attack! This is not a drill!

June 2011

June 6, 2011

Dot - Attention agents: everything seems quiet on the EPF rooftop. I think Herbert gave up. Great work everyone!

June 7, 2011

Herbert P Bear - GRR! You penguin have no idea how to build a proper bot! Your Hydra-bot broke down after being blown up only a few thousand times. CURSES!

G - We did it! That means both Herbert and Protobot have been defeated. For the first time in a year, we have peace on the island. Well done!

June 8, 2011

Director - All agents are ordered to rest and celebrate. Repair teams - move in. I'm temporarily suspending Field-Ops - everyone has earned a break.

June 10, 2011

G - I have spoken with the Director, and Field-Ops will return later this month. For now everyone's orders are to enjoy Music Jam.

June 13, 2011

G - I’m pleased to report that all damage from the Hydra–bot has been repaired. Excellent work everyone!

June 15, 2011

G - According to my calculations, it's my fault that Herbert stole the Hydra-bot. I'm sorry everyone, I should have been more careful with it.

June 17, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Nah, it ain't your fault G. I shouldn't have lost my cool, and dared Herbert to attack us. It's my bad - I apologize.

June 19, 2011

Director - Listen agents – if mistakes were made, we must learn from them and move on. That is why we are a force of agents. No one is perfect.

June 24, 2011

G - Field-Ops will be returning soon. Since Herbert is hiding, we’ll assign weekly training-ops instead, so agents can continue earning medals.

June 26, 2011

G - New Field Op tomorrow. Each class lead will be running a training operation over the next few weeks. Check the command room for orders.

August 2011

August 5, 2011

Rookie - Hey everyone! It’s been super duper quiet recently. What’s going on? Anything new?

August 6, 2011

G - Nothing to report.

August 7, 2011

Rookie - Hey G, what's up with this party everyone's talking about? It says in the newspaper that you're helping arrange it?

August 8, 2011

G - Just a little get together I'm helping out with. Nothing to report.

August 15, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - So G, I was wondering, when are we going to hear more about that party you're planning?

August 16, 2011

G - Check this week’s newspaper for more info. It’s a special edition – scented with fish oil. Don’t miss it.

August 19, 2011

G - Temperature at Toughest Mountain has dropped by 115%. According to my calculations, that should be enough to put Herbert into hibernation.

G - Attention agents: the Comm App is now secure. We're beginning Operation: Hibernation - our plan to capture Herbert. Orders soon.

August 22, 2011

Director - CLASSIFIED: Using System Defender, we traced Herbert's location. We've blasted the area with cold air, wich should make him hibernate.

Director - ORDERS: We have a very narrow opportunity. We need a team to sneak past Herbert's security systems, and capture him before he wakes up.

August 23, 2011

Director - This is a highly dangerous mission. Those who are willing, report to the Command Room on Aug 25 for Operation: Hibernation.

August 24, 2011

Director - To ensure security, there will be no futher messages. We are radio silent. Be resourceful. Be remarkable. Be ready.

September 2011

September 28, 2011

G - Hello everyone! Our Communaction system is finally secure again. Agents - report for a new Field-Op training, and keep an eye on Herbert.

October 2011

October 4, 2011

G - Update: new Field-Op training is coming this week. Suspect #1 is still secure. Good work agents.

October 14, 2011

Director - We have not yet decided what to do with Herbert. Moving him may be too dangerous. For now, we must keep him safe and secure.

October 21, 2011

Rookie - Hey - if you guys happen to see Klutzy, let me know. We're not trying to catch him or anything, he's just wanted for questioning. Thanks!

October 27, 2011

G - Reminder to some agents - there's no need to detain any ghosts, ghouls or Living Sleds. No matter how spooky they look.

November 2011

November 3, 2011

G - After agents have completed this week's Field-Op, you may take the rest of the week off to play the new Pufflescape game. Enjoy!

November 10, 2011

G - Ninja activity has increased all over the island. If you see any unusual fire or water activity, do not be alarmed. The situation is under control.

November 17, 2011

Rookie - I just met Sensei!!!! He's so awesome! I was all, "Hi Sensei" and he was like, "I think you're standing on my foot." Sensei rules!!!

November 24, 2011

Jet Pack Guy - Update: just checked on Herbert. The extra heat on the island hasn't affected the Air Conditioner 3000. He is still safely secured.

December 2011

December 2, 2011

Rookie - Dot! I don't want to alarm you, but someone is selling your tree disguises in the Gift Shop. Should I start detaining trees? Over.

December 8, 2011

Dot - Those aren't disguises Rookie - they're costumes. Even then, I would never advise detaining trees. You should probably leaf them alone.

December 22, 2011

Director - Attention Agents - we are aware of situation in Herberts hibernation cell. G has your orders.

December 29, 2011

G - Well done this year Agents. There were many challenges, but we faced them together. No matter what 2012 holds for us, I know we'll be ready.

2012

January 2012

January 5, 2012

Rookie - I’ve got BIG news! I was asked to help plan this month’s Expedition Party! I have lots of good ideas too. Read about it in next week’s newspaper!

January 12, 2012

G - Good luck with the party planning Rookie. Your request has been approved. All agents - be on alert to help Rookie with his preparations.

January 19, 2012

Rookie - I'm so excited for next week's Underwater Expedition! I guarantee it's going to be a party to remeber!

January 26, 2012

Director - RED ALERT! All agents respond! Focus all efforts on protecting Club Penguin citizens. This is not a drill!

February 2012

February 2, 2012

Director - All reports confirm that Herbert has vanished without a trace. We believe he will lie low for the time being. G has your orders.

February 9, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Finished another sweep of the island. No sign of Herbert. How did he just vanish into thin air? You'd think he'd be groggy from his four month nap…

February 16, 2012

G - Rockhopper has requested my help to upgrade his ship. For now I'll be assigning orders, but Dot is taking over the Herbert investigation.

February 24, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Man, I can't believe we still haven't heard from Herbert! You'd think he'd be bragging about how he got away. Where IS he?

March 2012

March 1, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - I was keeping an eye on the Migrator, in case Herbert tried to board in disguise. Saw lots of Vikings, dinosaurs, and pirates. No polar bears.

March 8, 2012

Dot - Still no sign of Herbert or Klutzy. I'll be meeting with the Director this week to discuss what we should do next. G has your orders.

March 15, 2012

G - Herbert did not respond to our broadcast last week. We must wait for him to make the first move. There is not much else we can do.

March 22, 2012

Dot - Everyone - I have an idea. It's a bit risky, but it might just lure Herbert out of hiding. All we need is the right bait...

March 29, 2012

Rookie - Hey! If you rearrange the letters in ‘Box Dimension’ you can spell ‘BeD mix onions’! I’m not sure what that means, but it sounds delicious!

April 2012

April 5, 2012

Dot - I scanned the Aqua Grabber this morning, and the computer core was still there. So this week we're going to try something more drastic. G has your orders.

April 12, 2012

Dot - I checked the arcade we loaded the fake message intro. It hasn't been plugged in or tampered with. I have one more idea. G has your orders.

April 19, 2012

Dot - Herbert didn't take the bait. The computer we left connected to the EPF mainframe wasn't tampered with. Herbert could be long gone.

April 26, 2012

Rookie - Hey everyone, I was in the Pizza Shop, and I overheard someone say there's a cream soda shortage. Is Rockhopper in town???

May 2012

May 3, 2012

G - Attention agents - I will be issuing your orders, but Dot is still in charge of the investigation. I have some pressing matters to attend to...

May 10, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Alert! Radar is picking up something BIG flying around the island! It’s too fast to follow – has anyone gotten a visual on this thing yet?

May 17, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Mayday! Mayday! We've got an emergency situation! A... dragon has taken over the island!? What is going on here?? Orders???

May 24, 2012

Rookie - G, are you feeling okay? You've been acting a bit funny. Maybe you need more coffee? Or less?

May 31, 2012

G - At last, I'm feeling normal again. It seems Scorn's curse had a large effect on me. Did I do anything strange?

June 2012

June 7, 2012

Protobot - Attention EPF. The Meteor has restored my power. I am assembling a robot of immense force. Prepare for destruction.

June 22, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Great work everyone - keep it up! These Super Villains are no match for the Elite Penguin Force!

June 28, 2012

G - Agents, we must not give up! Desperate times call for desperate measures. Report to the Command Room--we have a plan.

July 2012

July 6, 2012

G - Outstanding work Agents! Destructobot has been defeated, and is being dismantled. But we cannot rest yet! You have new orders.

July 12, 2012

G - We’ve analyzed the message you all detected last week, and we have a lead. Report to the Command Room for orders.

July 19, 2012

G - We have Protobot on the run! Report to the Command Room quickly, so we can put a stop to this mechanical menace.

July 26, 2012

G - We haven’t detected any more Protobot computer infections, but we can’t rest yet. More orders ready in the Command Room.

August 2012

August 2, 2012

Rookie - Great job everyone! Here's hoping we don't run into any more dragons, giant robots, or fan mobs for a while. I'm pooped!

August 9, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Whoa! Hey everyone, sensors just started picking up some weird energy readings. Is there another Meteor or something nearby?

August 16, 2012

G - I spoke with Rockhopper - he's bringing an unusual totem with him that might be responsible for the strange energy readings. Agents, remain on standby.

August 23, 2012

Rookie - Oh man! MORE strange stuff is happening! Giant volcano thing! Apples! Pineapples! Watermelon! Help!

August 30, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - I don't want to get my hopes up, but it looks like this BIG BIG KAHUNA thing is actually happy now. Glad we calmed it down at last.

September 2012

September 6, 2012

Rookie - Hey everyone, good news! The Fair is coming back to town this month, and I’M HELPING TO PLAN IT! Woohoo! And I promise I won’t sink the island. Not even a little!

September 13, 2012

Rookie - Hey everyone! I’m helping to set up the Fair this week, so I might be a bit busy. If there are any emergencies or disasters, please leave a message!

September 20, 2012

Rookie - Hey everyone, the Fair is going great! I almost blew up the Puffle Circus, but everything worked out okay. Phew! Hope you’re all having fun!

September 27, 2012

Rookie - Hey everybody! I was so distracted by delicious popcorn, I almost refilled all the game tickets with anvils. Good thing I noticed!

October 2012

October 4, 2012

G - Attention agents – I need some help investigating a personal matter this month. Please report to the Command Room for orders.

October 11, 2012

Jet Pack Guy - Hey everyone. I was just in the Forest, minding my own business, when I heard a strange sound. It was like a long ooOOOooOOOooh sound. Any ideas what it was?

October 18, 2012

Rookie - Gadzooks! There are ghosts everywhere! Alert! What do we do? We didn’t cover ghosts in basic training!

October 26, 2012

G - Agents! I have made contact with my long lost great uncle, Gariwald. As it happens, he turned himself into a ghost on purpose. What an amazing discovery!

November 2012

November 1, 2012

G - Excellent! Things are back to normal. My great uncle Gariwald has returned to the ghostly world to continue his research. Well done!

November 8, 2012

Director - RED ALERT! Agent G is missing. All agents, search the island. This is not a drill. Repeat, this is not a drill.

November 15, 2012

Herbert P Bear - Club Penguin is no more! The EPF is finished! From this day forward, I'M in charge! And there’s NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! MWAHAHA!

November 22, 2012

Herbert P Bear - Surrender Elite Penguin Fools! Your best agents have already been caught, like flies in a web. You cannot defeat me.

November 29, 2012

Herbert P Bear - I know it's YOU trying to oppose me, Agent! I WILL find out who you are. I WILL capture you. Mark my words!

December 2012

December 6, 2012

Director - Well done agents. The Blackout has ended. Though Herbert has eluded capture, his base is destroyed, and the Solar Laser with it. We must now rebuild.

December 13, 2012

G - What a mess! Herbert destroyed so much data. Personnel files, PSA backups, the entire Field-Ops mainframe. Right now I'm not even sure what can be fixed.

December 20, 2012

G - Agents – divert your efforts to baking cookies! I’ve been studying them in great detail. They contain 124% your daily intake of magic!

December 27, 2012

Rookie - Happy holidays everyone! I hope you're all having a blast at the party. I got a new pair of socks - best gift ever!

2013

January 2013

January 4, 2013

G - Great Scott – of course! By recalibrating the temporal distortion array in my Time Trekker, I can manipulate time space as easy as peeling a tangerine! Simple!

January 10, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Umm... Gary? Are you feeling okay? You've been acting... kinda strange.

January 17, 2013

G - Anyone feel like creating a temporal singularity and traveling back in time with me? There are lots of dinosaurs there!

January 31, 2013

G - Terrible news! I accidentally fixed the temporal distortion. Things are back to normal. Hopefully I'll figure out how to break it again someday!

February 2013

February 7, 2013

Rookie - Hey guys! Have you seen Herbert? Or any signs of him like fur or vegetarian stuff? It’s so weird that he just totally completely disappeared… Don’t you THINK?

February 14, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Keep your eyes peeled for suspicious activity at film shoots. Security is top priority with all these VIP’s mulling around.

February 21, 2013

Dot - Great job, Agents – things seem to be going off without a hitch. Now let’s keep up surveillance at the Awards Show. I want to see you all looking sharp.

February 28, 2013

G -Anyone else find the cubic measure of their Spy Phone excessively voluminous? Gadzooks! I think it might be time to experiment with an upgrade!

March 2013

March 7, 2013

Rookie - Did you guys see the big crates in the Command Room? What's in them?! Probably TVs… Or no. Maybe a pair of giant purple chocolate elephants! I'M SO EXCITED!!!

March 14, 2013

PH - Heya agents! Got some construction going around the Pet Shop–would ya mind keeping an eye out? This is an important event — I need extra security!

March 21, 2013

Gary - Zounds! Re-construction of the EPF is coming along splendiferously. I’m particularly ecstatic about the addition of an on-site lab! For SCIENCE!

March 28, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Agents. It's been too quiet for comfort lately. We've got a couple of high profile threats we haven't tracked down. Keep sharp out there.

April 2013

April 5, 2013

G - A highly unstable, flammable substance was stolen from the Pizza Parlor! This could have exceedingly devastating consequences. I repeat. This is bad.

April 11, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - I'm seeing a lot of real fine work out there, agents. One agent in particular showed great skill and bravery. You know who you are.

April 18, 2013

G - Recent fluctuations in seismic activity are affecting rock composition in a most peculiar way... crystals unlike any I’ve studied before...

April 25, 2013

Dot - Attention. We're seeing a major outbreak of robots all over the island. And a lot of penguins in tights. Keep alert. There's only one bag of bolts who could be behind this!

May 2013

May 2, 2013

Rookie - So far I've met 152 robots!! So COOL. But they are NOT friendly. Like, for example, they are NOT going in for high fives.

May 9, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Report to the Command Room to check out Spy Drills – our new elite training terminal. Hone skills. Earn medals. Gear up. Enough said.

May 11, 2013 (Bug)

Director - All agents - upon completion of this week's Field-Op, please take some time to enjoy the Holiday Party, and help out with Coins For Change.

May 16, 2013

G - Electromagnetic levels are normal. And I've collected some fascinating minerals! Now my Climatron 3000 is just picking up a rise in sub-zero moisture. We're in for a cold snap!

May 23, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Warning all agents. Nearly crash landed when a strong wind knocked me off course. Not every day I fly through flurries as dangerous as those. Really chilly up there.

May 30, 2013

Dot - Great to see so many agents doing Spy Drills. Kudos you guys. And now that you’ve banked some medals, reward yourself. Elite gear!

June 2013

June 6, 2013

Director - Agents. Continue to join our ninja allies in battle. Defend the island. The threat is great.

June 13, 2013

G - Despite extensive experimentation, the application of that stolen hot sauce remains unclear. One indisputable fact – that polar bear is keeping an awfully low profile!

June 20, 2013

Rookie - Did you see?! Construction's done at the Ski Village! But those big phones DON'T WORK. Dot says they're 'for decoration ONLY'.

June 27, 2013

Dot - Lots of strange characters around the island…Agents, go undercover in a one-eyed mask or furry monster suit and see what intel you can dig up.

July 2013

July 4, 2013

Rookie - University is AWESOME! I wish we could go to school ALL YEAR ROUND! We could learn about poems…and ROCKS! Like my pet ROCK!

July 11, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Reports are coming on of Puffles digging up rare items! Those goofy little fur balls never cease to amaze me. Great to have 'em on our team.

July 18, 2013

G - The Death Star is approaching rapidly. Agents - continue preparation for the landing of Millenium Falcon at the Dock.

July 25, 2013

Director - Agents. Report to Tatooine to join the Rebel Alliance. The fate of the galaxy rests with you.

August 2013

August 1, 2013

Dot - Alright agents. Time to infiltrate the Death Star. Darth Herbert's going down!

August 8, 2013

Director - Agents. The data has been analyzed and we've found the Death Star's weakness. Get to Yavin 4 and take the space station down.

August 15, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Great work agents. Darth Herbert and the Empire have been defeated. Take a break. You deserve it.

August 22, 2013

Dot - The Summer Jam has started. Keep your eyes peeled for troublemakers, but don't forget to hit the beach and have some fun!

August 29, 2013

Rookie - I had a great vacation :D And rubber ducky took care of everything! It was like I wasn't ever gone O.o

September 2013

September 5, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Herbert's been far too quiet lately. We're beginning to wonder if we've seen the last of him. Or if he'll wash up somewhere.

September 12, 2013

Dot - Agents, honing your skills is essential. Make sure you're practicing your Spy Drills. Youcan never be too prepared.

September 19, 2013

Director - There are chickens on the loose. Round them up, agents. It's a matter of national security.

September 26, 2013

G - Gadzooks! This party is absolutely medieval! There is a 99.5% probability princesses are in need of rescuing.

October 2013

October 3, 2013

G - What exciting discoveries! Transformations, mysterious seeds, and an oddly familiar wizard. Rookie will be handling Halloween while I head to the lab to research!

October 10, 2013

Rookie - Hi everybody! Did u hear I'm planning the Halloween party? Make sure u all dress up and eat candy, k? Nothing bad's going to happen, so u can take a break and relax.

October 17, 2013

Rookie - Hey guys! So some of the candy was cursed, and is turning everyone into vampires, werewolves, and zombies. My bad. If you don't wanna be a monster, don't eat the candy.

October 24, 2013

Director - Every agent has impressed me greatly with their hard work. You've successfully helped protect the island for 8 years. I look forward to continuing to work with you.

November 2013

November 1, 2013

Dot - Herbert-sized footprints have been reported in the wilds. We've sent Jet Pack Guy to investigate and will update you as soon as we have more information

November 7, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - There's something suspicious going out in the wilds. Get ready for rough terrain agents. We'll be heading into the wilderness.

November 14, 2013

PH - Puffles have been going missing all over the island. And there are tracks leading out into the wild. We believe Herbert's behind this.

November 21, 2013

Director - Agents, we've set up an Outpost behind the Ski Village. Head there to get your orders and rescue the missing puffles.

November 28, 2013

G - Keep up the great work. I've cracked 87,456% of Herbert's security systems. I just need the remaing chips.

December 2013

December 5, 2013

Director - Well done, agents. The puffles are safe. Herbert is no match for the EPF.

December 12, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - We can't pinpoint Herbert's location. The puffles who carried him off know the Wilds well. Keep an eye out for clues and repor anything unusual. He can't have gone too far.

December 19, 2013

G - Agents, we'll need everyone's help to recover the coins Herbert stole. And perhaps with a few modifications I can convert this train for EPF use... back to the lab!

December 26, 2013

Jet Pack Guy - Crab-like footprints have been reported in the Wilds. We suspect they belong to Klutzy. It's difficult to trace them back to a single location. We may need to bring in an expert.

2014

January 2014

January 3, 2014

Rookie - Happy New Year! That was the BEST Year EVER! There were puffles, super heroes, dragons, vampires, and... uh oh. I don't think I'm supposed to use this for non-EPF messages...

January 9, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - Agents! A mysterious message has been found at the Snow Forts. Secure the perimeter and search for clues.

January 16, 2014

G - I've received a message from my great uncle Garugg the Ugg Ugg. Agents, I shall require your assistance. We are about to step back in time. Things could get dangerous.

January 30, 2014

G - Creating disturbances in the past could cause temporal paradoxes to occur. Agents, keep an eye out for any changes and remember to step lightly.

February 2014

February 6, 2014

G - Our trip to the past was a success! The Forest changed but didn't have any negative effects. We'll need to observe the Iceberg for changes still.

February 13, 2014

G - An arcade machine has gone missing from the Lounge. There is a 27.84% chance it will explode if plugged in. Inform me if anyone sees it.

February 20, 2014

Rookie - Hey! I'm sure the Director wouldn't mind if everyone took a break and tried out some of the rides at the Fair! Cause they're AMAZING!

February 27, 2014

Director - Repairs to the Indestructible Containment Environment took longer than expected. The Command Room will be fully functional again next week.

March 2014

March 6, 2014

G - Great news agents! The Command Room is fully operational. Try out the lockers, they're a 2000-series!

March 13, 2014

Rookie - Hey Director. Rubber ducky and I were playing hide-and-seek. What's this encrypted file Q1JBQg-2001 about?

March 20, 2014

Director - Rookie. Report to my office immediately. Your Spy Phone privileges have been suspended.

March 28, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - Agents. We received a tip that the Museum may be targered for a robbery. Let's increase our security. Stay Sharp.

April 2014

April 3, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - Rockhopper's coming in for an emergency stop. Get ready to aid the captain. We don't know what could be behind his dwindling supplies.

April 10, 2014

Dot - Get your puffle disguises together, agents. The party starts next week and we don't want precious pets to go missing. You never know where Herbert could be hiding.

April 17, 2014

PH - You guys are ACE! This puffle celebration is gonna be a hit! Ther's no sign of Herbert anywhere! Thanks for protecting these little critters!

April 24, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - Agents, puffle tricks are a great way to train your pet. An elite agent needs an elite sidekick.

May 2014

May 1, 2014

Rookie - Hey guys! The Director gave me back my Spy Phone privileges and the keys to Gary's lab so I can help him clean. Yay!!! What could possibly go wrong?!

May 8, 2014

G - My trip to the future was successful, but I detected a Protobot power signature. We'll need to take more readings.

May 15, 2014

Director - We are going to the future, agents. Our priority is stopping Protobot. Good luck.

May 22, 2014

G - The time portal is active! You go ahead to the future while I maintain the portal. Otherwise, you won't be able to get back!

May 29, 2014

Director - Agents! Ultimate Protobot is attacking in the future. We must stop him. Gary 3000's secret cannot fall into enemy hands.

June 2014

June 5, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - Good flying, agents. Protobot is neutralized. Let's keep it that way.

June 12, 2014

G - Thanks to those agents that defeated Protobot. I'm going to analyze his parts at HQ. They're very advanced.

June 19, 2014

Jet Pack Guy - If you help with G's experiments at HQ, keep explosions to a minimum.

June 26, 2014

Rookie - JPG always says the EPF need to stay in shape. So let's join the Penguin Cup! Yay baseball!

July 2014

July 3, 2014

Director - The Penguin Cup is secure in my office. It's a valuable asset. Also, I like it.

July 10, 2014

G - I've been experimenting with new modes of locomotion. And I don't mean trains. Bring any extra hot sauce to the HQ!

July 17, 2014

Rookie - That cruise ship is HUGE! I was wandering around inside and I lost my wrench. Anyone know where it is?