Club Penguin Wiki:Archive/Resignation

Dearest Friends (and the occasional enemies) of the Club Penguin Wiki:

The time has come for me to lay down my power and step down as Dictator of the Database. Please take the time to read this letter.

Fear not, I leave you in good hands.

Crisis List

Crisis I: Promotion Choas

For around two years, I've been placed in charge of this database. For a while, I was Co-Webmaster along with the Best Thing Since Sliced Bread, Barkjon. After Crisis I, and the anger AG threw against me for promotion Aqua Jet (also a great user), I signed the Magna Carta, banning all future promotions unless in emergencies, thus making BJ my superior. We also created the Str00del doctrine and the predecessor to the Fanon, "Top Agents".

Crisis II: The Devil's Advocates

We draftred a set of rules soon after. Among the controversial doctrines was the forbiddance of homosexuality and satanism to be mentioned on the wiki (they could edit, but not profess said beliefs). Magic and other paranormals were limited as well (Top Agents eventuially got out of hand and was torn down because of the additions and because it became crazy). However, I forgot to take down all of those no longer applicable rules, and choas resulted. AgentGenius returned, wanting reform, but I managed to get rid of him (and he didn't come back). Alas, about twelve Satanists came in about a week later (no relation to prior villains) and spammed me, the wiki, and pretty much everything. One of them "slept on Satan's doorstep", for instance. This was Crisis II. A ton of toil and quitations resulted in a simplified ruleset that still stands. It was in this time I declared myself the "Dictator", but was still lesser to Barkjon, as I am now. The worst part though, was that Crisis II began when I had just woke up from a nap on a day that I was sick and had poor judgement.

Crisis III: When Vandals Attack

Time passed and the Wiki restabilized. Awards were invented, handed out, etc. All was fantastic in this, the longest peacetime known. Then, Crisis III. I can't remember if this was User:Ben 100022, pre-reform Wompus, or a combination. Either way, Sockpuppets joined our circle of friends (great user, a fantastic man) and the battles began. Crisis III saw Wompus (before turning good) performing low-rank vandalsim (AKA blanking a page), but later compromising Sockpuppet's account, causing choas and then eventual restoration. Wompus disappeared, but reappeared in good honesty, and now serves as a magnificent user on this site. Ben grew to fame as well, wrapped in scandals. His most infamous deeds incluided some of the worst stuff I know of. On Sacred Saturday, 2008 (I think), the day before Easter Sunday, Ben was at the chopping block, a ban was upon him. However, through conivery, he managed to convince me he was innocent. I fought my whole morning for him, and I won, sparing Ben of all charges. I was told months later that he had "buttered me up", but that's another story. Ben slipped away into the concious of the wiki, becoming just another vandal. Wompus disappeared and came back a new man.

Crisis IV: Slow Poke Pokes with Stability

This "Crisis" took me back to the II days, when REAL Crisis took place. I never declared it one, but looking back, it sure was a Crisis. One of my personal online friends, Sharkbate, was hacked by a nefarious evil called Slow Poke. Slow Poke compromised the boy's account and wreaked choas. Uberfuzzy stopped him and we saved Sharkbate, though many doubted he was truly hacked. I, however, believed it (and was eventually proven right), because my family values say there are still good people in this world. Many of you may recall a CPFW deja-vu, since HappyFace had a similar scenario. This was the first one, HF was the second to fall to evil relatives/neighbors (HF's evil neigbor is under house arrest and a restraining order, again, another story). The alleged Slow Poke vanished, but returned claiming reformaion (just like The Real Ben and Wompus). Seeing how Wompus had become a good man prior, I quickly believed Slow Poke, down to the point of adding my name to SP's list. Slow Pole stabbed me in the back, howver, because he hacked Sharkbate and used that account for some of the sickest things since the "old" Ben. This is the Crisis' origin. Those who thought SB = SP, and those who thought Sharkbate WAS hacked. I sided with the SB hacked scenario, and fought against a ton of other powerful users to the death, metaphorically. Eventually, the "SB was hacked" side won, and I took it upon myself to protect Sharkbate.

Sharkbate, for the record, is a fantastic user. Slow Poke never returned, and because SB has been a model user and a great role model, the SB-was-hacked side and I were correct. :)

Old Ben returned at the end of Crisis IV. More unthinkable deeds blew through, and he fabricated an entire saga of users. Oh, how he was hacked by Kesak! See how Kesak teamed up with that wretched Quila and used Penguin Storm to steal his HTML-based password with a SWF file device! Oh, the agony it was! I was going to kick Ben to kingdom come, but he buttered me up again, as I made a dramatic countdown to blocking. His begging made me give him three days. BIG MISTAKE. He returned, messed up the database, then was annialated. The Real Ben returned later.

Crisis V: OVER NINE THOUSAND WALRUSES!

Lo and behold! Who could have ever thought fat seals could do so much damage?! They marched in droves, from their evil website (now torn down), raiding our site with thousands of fake accounts. User:Walrus fails to list all of them. The Ministry of Walruses was created, torn down, re-creeated, torn down, etc. in a battle with me and Uberfuzzy. I gave in the him, and my parents caught word of my Internet activity and put the now famous monitoring on me. They couldn't have done it at a better time, I was pulled out of the fight and the Walruses were crushed by staff and everyone on the wiki together. MetalManager and Sk8itbot were hacked by Walruses at the peak of the choas. Uberfuzzy freed them, thank gravy, and the Walruses were killed.

The Walruses returned in new disguises, namely User:Russian One, and Old Ben brought in a laundry basket of sockpuppets, which were promptly cleaned and disposed of.

So that belew through, leading to what we have today.

Crisis VI: The Real Ben Really Made Me Grumpy

The Real Ben surfiaced here. Immediantly acting innocent, he snagged a whole list of people, even Barkjon. Since Barkjon trusted him, I could not block him out of respect to my superior officer.

Controversy arose as Wompus and I both believed that Ben was lying. Wompus believed it because he got a lisyt of death threats. I believed it because something didn't seem right about it, and because of Ben's dark past (see above). I swore on the Bible, with my yes being yes and my no being no (Bible Quote), to never add my name on the list.

ZapWire, feeling the urge to help out the wiki, provided an alternative that ressurected the superior Club Penguin Fanon Wiki. I would reccomend everyone to go there. Anyway, ZW wished to bring the BOB to us, and I snapped at him. It wasn't his fault, I was really grumpy because of Ben, and I apologize for how I treated him.

Thus, this leads to what I am about to write.

RESIGNATION LETTER

I, Dictator TurtleShroom, the Absoulte Energie, der gefürchtete Schildkröte-Pilz, Diktator der Penguin-Enzyklopädie, and leader of the Club Penguin Wiki, second to Webmaster Barkjon, hereby resign all special powers I hold on the CPW, demoting myself to the rank of a mere sysop.

By stepping down as Dictator, I hereby relenquish my grip upon this fair website.

It has been a great ride overall, and I've seen this wiki grow from one hundred to well over six hundred articles in three years. Some of the best times and worst times have come in this site, and I am honored to have worked with such great users.

To the villains and those who claim to be my enemies, I thank you for teaching me life lessons and tolerance, things of which I needed to be a proper Internet user.

To the Turtlenators and Semi-Turtlenators, as well as all who handed me awards, respect, and support, I thank you with all of my being. You folks have helped me in ways pictures can't show. Bless you all for that.

To my fellow sysops, thank you for standing by me, obeying me in the darkest of situations, and overall being there for me.

To Barkjon, thank you for being such a great man, such a fantastic editor, and for keeping me in line. I hope the new people I appoint will be as good of friends as I was to you. Barkjon, you are outstanding, and I hope you go far in life.

So it shall be, I hereby resign my power as Dictator.

• In my place, I appoint 'Miss Hat Pop as the new Dictator, equal to my position, second to Barkjon.

• MISTER SHARKBATE IS THE TERTIARY AUTHORITY, THIRD TO HAT POP.

• So, the Hierarchy is:
  • Barkjon
    • Hat Pop
      • Sharkbate

She will be sworn in via Xat and a probable CPFW story. Sharbate will be as well.

YOU, THE PEOPLE OF THE Club Penguin Wiki, ARE TO RESPECT HAT POP AND SHARKBATE AS YOU WOULD ME. I HAVE FULL TRUST IN THESE PEOPLE, AND YOU ARE TO RESPECT THEM AS IF THEY WERE ME. THEY EACH HOLD MY POWER, THEY WILL CONTINUE TO RUN THIS SITE. THOSE WHO CAN'T HANDLE THAT BETTER LEAVE, BECAUSE THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.

SO BE IT!!!!!!!